Talk Outline

Honor the students for showing up to this challenging topic. 

Explain trauma-informed approach, “What’s wrong with you?” Vs “What happened to you?"

Take a minute to get some water, pound your feet on the ground, if you need to take a break, take a break. 

This can be especially challenging for the, at least one in three or more of us, who have experienced abuse, trauma, high demand groups or dysfunctional families, as many of these cult dynamics trigger those experiences, so it is really important to stay connected to your body and take a break if you need to. 

Part 1: Connect

Ground:

Connect with myself 

Connect with each other 

Connect with my country

Connect with myself. 

Connect with and honor your own body, connect with and honor your own emotions, this is an intense time, intense election, and has had a huge impact on all of our nervous systems triggering fight, flight and freeze responses in our bodies and emotions. 

Connect with each other.  

As terrified as you are of what will happen if your candidate loses, about half the country is just as terrified if your candidate wins. Everyone is scared and needs to be treated with respect, compassion with the desire for connection.

Connect with your country. 

Honor what you love about your country. Allow yourself to feel the hopes and dreams and promises of the USA. 

Part 2: Recognizing Cult Dynamics

Importance of Belonging 

Public Speaking greatest fear will be shunned from the tribe 

Misinformation

Disinformation

Straight up lying 

Conspiracy Theories 

Define

Culture

Cult

Safe Empowering Culture

Dependent Dangerous Cult

Brainwashing Vs Mind Control Vs Undue Influence Vs Harmful Toxic Influence

Influence Continuum Steve Hassan’s Chart Pg 11 C.O.T

5 Main Types of Cults 

Roughly fall into 5 categories:

Religious Cults 

Political Cults 

Psychotherapy/Educational Cults 

Commercial Cults 

Cults of Personality  

Describe:

Authentic Self 

Cult Identity 

Words no longer have real meaning, lies are thrown around misusing words. 

All sides believe the media is brainwashing their viewers 

How do we know when we are thinking for ourselves? 

Ability to look at other viewpoints especially critical ones. Ability to listen to other people’s critical opinions.

Define like explaining to a 12 year old: 

Democracy 

Constitution

Communism

Fascism 

Dictator 

Narcissist 

Freedom

Explain:

Greatest Fears Greatest Dreams 

Authentic Self Authentic Values 

Trigger into terror by manipulating identity and values 

Cult Certainty  

Cult Induced Phobias 

BITE model:

Behavior control

Information control 

Thought control 

Emotional control 

R.T.B. Pg 42

Cult Identity dependent and obedient 

Consequences of criticizing the leader

Shunning, lose community, lose income, lose family, for some lose life. 

Fear of losing all the time and energy invested in believing 

Embarrassed, unable or unwilling to admit being scammed, tricked, would rather feel in control and certainty than stupid and uncertainty. 

Part 3: Creating a Connecting 

Conversation

Encouraging People to Connect to Their Own Values and Vote 

Recognize and connect to  the Challenge:

Biggest Obstacles to connecting with people under toxic influence or cult dynamics is accessing the authentic self of the person we are trying to connect with. 

Cults attack and manipulation a person’s identity, creating a dissociative disorder, freezing the authentic identity and replacing it with a cult identity.

Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone you know, and then suddenly it seems like you are talking to a different person? Their eyes might glaze over a little. They might almost roboticaly spit out information. This is what it’s like talking to a person’s cult identity, they can snap in and out of being their authentic selves making it very confusing to interact with.

Describe Example of Cult Identity 

Cognitive Dissonance Pg.20 FOM

Authentic Self is Frozen 

Cult Identity Created 

Phobia Indoctrination 

Continuous Fearmongering 

Us Vs Them Thinking with you being “them” 

Phobias 

“In a destructive cult, phobia indoctrination is the single most powerful technique for keeping people dependent and obedient. I have encountered many people who had long ago stopped believing in the leader but are psychologically paralyzed with deliberately implanted phobias, which are often subconscious.” Pg 211 C.O.T.

“Legitimate fears warn us of real dangers. Phobias occur when fear persists in a conditional and irrational way, detached from any real danger. They can be triggered by a cue that initiates a cycle of fearful images, thoughts and feelings. The cue can be an internal or external stimulus, such as a thought, image, word, smell, taste, feeling or behavior.…cult leaders use [phobias] intentionally, implanting phobias that often target their members’ underlying anxieties.” Pg 211 C.O.T.

Maybe: Example of my phobia almost stopping me from sending my kids to one of the best schools in CA 

For instance, simply hearing critical words of their leader can trigger phobias, causing intense fear and activating a person’s nervous system into fight, flight and freeze, and cause thought stopping, throwing them into a state of “Us. Vs. Them” which will make the person not able to hear you at all, and see you as “Them”  looking at you as the enemy. 

Remember, you are trying to connect with this person, always focus on rapport, understanding and connection. 

Explain: 

Rapport 

Trust 

Respect 

Build Rapport and Trust Pg. 242 C.C.M.C.

The value of Long Silences to break through the cult identity and reconnect with authentic self 

“Long silences are very important to empowering people to think for themselves. You do not want to rush people you are interacting with. You want them to think and reflect. If you make a big effort to understand them, they will be more likely to reciprocate, providing a great opportunity.”  Pg 209 C.O.T.

“The goal is to talk in a way that helps cast doubt on their involvement without berating them or making them feel stupid. People hate to admit  they are wrong, let them come to their own realizations. A 2011 study…” Pg 208 C.OT.

Example CNN Abby Philip “You’re in a cult!”

So close to a silent moment then attack “them” happened. 

The Conversation:

If possible have a neutral facilitator. If not available you have to be the neutral facilitator focusing on connecting with the other person rather than convincing. 

Define Values 

A vote is connected to your values 

When your values are clear decisions are easier 

Connect with your own values 

Connect with your care and compassion for the person you want to connect with who is in front of you

I care about you. I believe we can be connected and live in harmony even if we don’t agree politically. I really want to understand you, and I want us to understand each other. 

Connect with yourself again 

What are the most important things to your life and your family? Get to their authentic self, their  truth, keep digging until you hear them connected to their own words, repeating language like a broken record is a sign that you are talking to their cult identity not their authentic self, try to talk about their specific day to day concerns and values, look for them being connected to themselves. 

Look out for phobias, intense fear and terror. Honor them with compassion and understanding. 

Look out for Us Vs Them thinking with you being “Them” 

Help them see from different perspectives:

Role switching exercise Pg. 209 C.O.T.

“Stepping out of our own shoes and seeing things from another’s perspective is incredibly powerful.” Pg 209 C.O.T.

Part 4: Closing 

I don’t care what people do with their own choices, I believe in freedom while keeping public health and safety a priority, but I do want people to do things consciously and based on the freedom of using their own mind without being controlled by harmful toxic influence.

There are less than 100,000 people who will decide this election by breaking the tie we are in. 

Being under harmful toxic influence can make us make decisions that may not be based on our own true values, doing the dirty work of a toxic leader. I want to empower individuals to vote based on their own values even if they vote differently than I do.

To get an outline of this class for your notes, and to find out more about facilitated conversations and classes uniting our country, or for personal support to reduce physical and emotional pain, go to UnitingUSA.com. If you are interested in talking about getting further support for your own personal situation, whether that’s taking a class or private sessions, you can schedule a free 30 minute phone consultation at here 

www.badassbodywork.schedulista.com

 where we can discuss what kind of support you need and how to get it.  

Book References: Author Steve Hassan

F.O.M.: Freedom of Mind 

C.O.T: Cult of Trump

C.C.M.T.: Combating Cult Mind Control

R.T.B: Releasing the Bonds

Thank you to Ben Bartlett Berkeley Council Member for giving me the opportunity to teach you all, and thank you all for your courage to trust me with sharing this complex information and demystifying it with you. Be gentle with yourself and please take good care of your nervous system, this class can bring up a lot, so honor your experience and move forward supporting others without sacrificing your own well being. Sending a big hug to each of you. Thank you. 

Schedule your free 30 minute consultation here www.badassbodywork.schedulista.com

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